LOVE as you can, LEAVE as it is gone

It is not about “recently,” the feeling keep almost more then three years. Just will be not down and hit so frequently. Every time I tell myself that if you decide to do this then don’t be regret in the future. But still cannot to think about going back to beside you.
Sometimes the idea just flied into my mind, goes to your office and says hi, but after maybe an hour I will be stocked and thought I still not prepare well. But prepare what? Prepare for pretending me alive well without you? Prepare for explaining the long-time story, or just prepare that I am look like really just want to say hi to you and no doubt to leave again?
If time is be longer, I will be loss all my collage. When I going back, I already forget the common conversation we had. When I going back, I realized that you are not the one whom I familiar with. When I going back, you just behavior there are nothing between us.
You said it is all depend on you, just only you can make the decision. It seems like you didn’t have other choices. You said “I am always here; you always can find me at anytime as you want.” Did I? But actually you have so many choices, you can ask me don’t leave from your side. You can show you’re caring.
Selfish is me, yes! You already did. You already care me enough. You said I not enjoy tasting coffee, and then I never drank coffee in front of you. You said my life type is too faster but I never slow down for you. You said I look so tied when after school; I never pressure your in company after work. Yes! The one who be selfish is me.
Image: I am walking into your place, and you see me the first glance is unbelievable and smile, then you will look down the ground try to think about something or try to break the ice. Then you will look around try to search others response and people will just look at you. And I will just sit down smiling and pretend we just did not contact in several weeks. Suddenly you will just shout out “Man!! Where are you been? I just wonder did you still be alive or not? Welcome back.” And this is the end of our first day after the long time departure. After back home, I will be lost again, and keep ask why?
Should I go back or not? I know I will go back, I will not pass away your birthday again this year. I know I will go back; because somehow I miss my life have your place. But I know I will not fall in love with you again, because if all the things just want to hold in my hand then I will loose anything. Keep the memory as treasure, and move forward to the next step.
The last things for us is not “I am sorry for us or 我希望你能幸福,” just so simple is “How are you these years?”